We’re On A Boat, And Other Stories

Our Russian friends, on top of being awesome and hilarious and ridiculously fun, are also fabulous because they get out of town on a regular basis and always invite us along.
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Most recently they invited us for a day of picnicking on the lake with some Mongolian friends of theirs.
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One of the first things we did upon arrival was set up shop.
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And then get the hell out of there and go wandering. We discovered that a nearby herder had ridiculous amounts of baby animals, so that occupied us for a good 45 minutes.
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He also had a baby human who did not understand why we found the baby animals so entertaining.
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On our way back to the lake, we stumbled across a horse lying on the ground with its legs tied together.
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I initially thought it was a horse for slaughter, but then we discovered that the Mongolian equivalent of “coming back for your car later” is “parking your horse on the ground and tying it up.” This was perplexing, but ultimately unsurprising.
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Then we wandered back because there was some talk of a boat, which I initially ignored on the grounds that the Mongols are not exactly known for their seafaring ways. But then we got there and there was, actually, a boat.
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At full throttle it was still slower than if you were rowing, but who cares, boat.
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We putted around the lake for an hour and disturbed a lot of animal life.
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Eventually we got kicked out of the boat and the Mongolians disappeared. While we were waiting for them to come back, we took naps, wandered around, and befriended cows.
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When the Mongolians finally did appear almost two hours later, it was with an enormous bag of goose eggs from a metrick fuckton of nests they’d robbed. If there are no geese this year on Khar Us Nuur, you know why.
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They then attempted to hardboil these goose eggs and serve them with Kazakh-style horse meat. The meat was good, the eggs were…weird. They tasted like lake, for starters. And the eggs whites were jelly, which was odd.
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At this point I thought we were going home, but then in typical Mongol fashion, right when you think the party is winding down, someone pulls out a gun.
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Which, as it turns out, I am so bad at that as soon as I fired it all the Mongolians started laughing.

Whatever.

Later, after the gun had been put away, we wandered back over to the herder to investigate why his daughter was screaming her head off. Turns out unhappy goats being combed sound just like people.
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And then, there was this horse. And this herder, going, “Does anyone want to ride this horse?”
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ME. I WANT TO RIDE THIS HORSE.
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I RODE THIS HORSE.
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We didn’t do more than trot in circles while a dog attempted to herd us back to the house, but whatever, rode horse.

Mongol boat day for the win!

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One thought on “We’re On A Boat, And Other Stories

  1. I’m planning a trip to Mongolia in 2019. If I have half as much fun as you have , I’ll die happy!

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